Dave and I have always had a tradition of using one day a week as an indulgence day, rather that scattering our weekly "extra" values during the week. Of course, the problem with that is that we weren't tracking at all, and sometimes it became a whole weekend rather than one day. There are many flaws in that approach, and we've realized that we have to make changes to that habit. But that's another blog.
Today, I did something I've never done before, which is to track everything I ate today, even going to websites to get the points values correct. The news was scary, and a little eye-opening. But also empowering. Because now I know. I can make adjustments, and do some things like get in extra activity this week to mitigate some of the excess. I'm not off plan, I'm not sliding to pieces after a great weight loss, I'm not cocky and thinking I can get away with anything. Most importantly, I don't have that "well I blew it today so what the hell" kind of depression that comes with overindulging. Because I got myself reoriented by tracking and taking control.
It's an important step, because tracking has always been a weakness of mine, even under the best of circumstances. And I notoriously don't track when I don't want to acknowledge what I've eaten. So taking the step to write it all down and look up points is a huge one. It's reinforced my knowledge that I MUST change my habits and choose more wisely, even when indulging. And I go into tomorrow feeling in control, because I have done this positive thing. In control and with a plan, and that's a good result!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
5 pounds
Hello everone... just a quick post tonight. I believe I may have finally hit bottom in my self-pity wallowing. I am officially sick of myself. There's a lot to say, and more posts will be coming soon. But for now, let me just say that I've had it with myself. I've taken some awfully big steps backward, and undone a lot of good, hard work. But that's the past, and I can't change it. And I'm tired of moping. Time to take charge once again and do the work.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately - too much, really. But one of the things I realized is that I need to go back to basics, back to the mindset I had when I started this journey. Back then, I wasn't overly eager to join and start working. I had just come to a place where I knew things had to change. I believe that the reason I had success was because I kept my focus small. Never more than a 5-10-25 plan. My short term goal was never more than 5 lbs away, medium range was 10, and long term was a 25 lb milestone. And I realized then that it didn't matter how long it took, as long as I kept making strides in the right direction. Those beliefs kept things feeling manageable. It helped me stay focused, because each food decision felt impactful when my goal was 5 lbs. When I started looking bigger picture, it got easier to start sliding on individual decisions. I got into an "in the scope of 100 lbs to lose what difference does one (fill in the blank) make?" headspace. And that way led to madness, and more and more sloppy decisions. When I was just trying to make it to the next 5 lb marker, it was so much easier to see the direct correlations between what I ate and reaching my goal.
So that's my goal. I'm going to a meeting tomorrow morning (Saturday) to face the music. Whatever has happened is now the past, and I'm starting from whatever I weigh tomorrow. I want to lose 5 lbs. That's all. Once I do that, I'll do it again. As many times as I need to.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately - too much, really. But one of the things I realized is that I need to go back to basics, back to the mindset I had when I started this journey. Back then, I wasn't overly eager to join and start working. I had just come to a place where I knew things had to change. I believe that the reason I had success was because I kept my focus small. Never more than a 5-10-25 plan. My short term goal was never more than 5 lbs away, medium range was 10, and long term was a 25 lb milestone. And I realized then that it didn't matter how long it took, as long as I kept making strides in the right direction. Those beliefs kept things feeling manageable. It helped me stay focused, because each food decision felt impactful when my goal was 5 lbs. When I started looking bigger picture, it got easier to start sliding on individual decisions. I got into an "in the scope of 100 lbs to lose what difference does one (fill in the blank) make?" headspace. And that way led to madness, and more and more sloppy decisions. When I was just trying to make it to the next 5 lb marker, it was so much easier to see the direct correlations between what I ate and reaching my goal.
So that's my goal. I'm going to a meeting tomorrow morning (Saturday) to face the music. Whatever has happened is now the past, and I'm starting from whatever I weigh tomorrow. I want to lose 5 lbs. That's all. Once I do that, I'll do it again. As many times as I need to.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Back From the Dead, Metaphorically Speaking
I've been AWOL a long time. It's very hard to explain what's been going on with me emotionally, so let's just say that it's been a two month long pity party. I haven't quit WW or anything, I'm still attending meetings regularly, and half-assing the program enough to continue treading water. But it's also been productive in a sense, because as a result of all this navel-gazing, I've had a few minor breakthroughs.
This is a quickie post to announce my return to the land of the living. I've worked out a plan, that I'll be posting in a bit of detail. That plan includes regular blog posting (including weigh-in and plan accountability). It also includes redefining my focus, and returning to the beginning. I also read a really great article on Motivation that I'll be discussing in some detail, as it made a huge impact on me.
So for now, this is just me waving hello! Details to come, either tomorrow or Monday, depending on schedule. So watch out for some more regular updates from me!
Also, if anyone ever reads these posts, feel free to contact me on Facebook under the name WoobieLosingWeight.
See you all soon!
This is a quickie post to announce my return to the land of the living. I've worked out a plan, that I'll be posting in a bit of detail. That plan includes regular blog posting (including weigh-in and plan accountability). It also includes redefining my focus, and returning to the beginning. I also read a really great article on Motivation that I'll be discussing in some detail, as it made a huge impact on me.
So for now, this is just me waving hello! Details to come, either tomorrow or Monday, depending on schedule. So watch out for some more regular updates from me!
Also, if anyone ever reads these posts, feel free to contact me on Facebook under the name WoobieLosingWeight.
See you all soon!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Giving Myself Credit
I had a great WI today - down 6 lbs. That's first. Now in full disclosure mode, I have been having some fairly serious gastric problems of late. I am scheduled to have a test done next week in hopes of nailing down a diagnosis. But last Saturday evening, I had another serious bout of pain, and although I didn't need to go the the ER like last time, it was still pretty scary. And for most of this week, I have been limited in my eating. Some of that was simple fear - if I ate too much, I was afraid I'd start feeling pains again. In the first day or two, I simply felt very tender, as a result of the stresses of Saturday night. If I ate smaller amounts, I felt ok.
So when I had this great weigh in result, I was tempted to write it off and say, well I was not feeling well, so it doesn't really count. But the truth is, as I felt better, there was a pretty good war going on inside me most of the time. I wanted to be cautious, because of the fear of another episode. But I still really wanted to eat a lot at times, and not always good choices. In fact, the devil on my shoulder kept rationalizing, and saying that since I was eating much smaller amounts than usual, and was frequently feeling actual hunger, that it would be ok to make some of my choices higher calorie/fat options. Like having one of those delicious new frappes from Burger King instead of making myself a smoothie at home.
I felt like it was an interesting week, with this battle raging on. And the fact of the matter is that I continued to make smart choices, both in what I chose to eat and in my portion size. As a result, I've decided to give myself credit for the weight loss, because although some of it can be attributed to illness, the simple truth is that it would have been a lot less than 6 lbs if I'd given in to temptation. So I gladly accepted the star the leader gave me, and shared my success at the meeting, with no hedging.
It's so easy to diminish ourselves and our accomplishments. To play them off, and act like they were accidental or just no big deal. So I followed last week's advice, and spoke to myself about it the way I would speak to a friend, and take the credit for the work. And you know what? I'm glad I did!
So when I had this great weigh in result, I was tempted to write it off and say, well I was not feeling well, so it doesn't really count. But the truth is, as I felt better, there was a pretty good war going on inside me most of the time. I wanted to be cautious, because of the fear of another episode. But I still really wanted to eat a lot at times, and not always good choices. In fact, the devil on my shoulder kept rationalizing, and saying that since I was eating much smaller amounts than usual, and was frequently feeling actual hunger, that it would be ok to make some of my choices higher calorie/fat options. Like having one of those delicious new frappes from Burger King instead of making myself a smoothie at home.
I felt like it was an interesting week, with this battle raging on. And the fact of the matter is that I continued to make smart choices, both in what I chose to eat and in my portion size. As a result, I've decided to give myself credit for the weight loss, because although some of it can be attributed to illness, the simple truth is that it would have been a lot less than 6 lbs if I'd given in to temptation. So I gladly accepted the star the leader gave me, and shared my success at the meeting, with no hedging.
It's so easy to diminish ourselves and our accomplishments. To play them off, and act like they were accidental or just no big deal. So I followed last week's advice, and spoke to myself about it the way I would speak to a friend, and take the credit for the work. And you know what? I'm glad I did!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Little Tiny Goals
Been needing to recharge my commitment lately... I've been seriously half-assing this thing for some time, and it's got to change. I know I say things like that sometimes, and I've said it before. And I'll probably say it again. None of us are perfect, and I think that everyone struggles with their focus and motivation. When something is a life-long process, like weight loss and maintenance is, there's bound to be some fallbacks.
So I've decided to go back to basics this week, treating it as though it's my first week on plan. I've got some good food options in the house, including lots of fresh fruit and veggies. I have a healthy dinner already planned and ready to go for tomorrow. And while I'd like to get back to setting some more aggressive goals, I figured this week it would be good to start with some baby steps...things that are important for success, but not very difficult to achieve with a little work. Here goes:
1. Tracking EVERYTHING this week. My tracking has fallen seriously by the wayside, so I have a nice new notebook and a pen I really like all set out and ready to go.
2. WATER WATER WATER. I drink water pretty exclusively, so choosing it is a no-brainer. But making sure I'm getting enough is important. I have a WW insulated cup that holds 32 oz at a time. I must drink at least 2 of those cups full per day.
3. At least 5 servings of fruits and veggies per day. Going back through my materials so that I can accurately track portion sizes.
4. Activity - this goal is all about starting small. It's activity 4 times this week, for a minimum of 30 minutes per day. Hoping that most of it will be bike-related, since it's good cardio, and easier on my hurting feet. Tendinitis in on foot and a heel spur in the other have led to some challenges, so I think that biking is my best solution this week. I do have a couple of other options in my head though, in case that doesn't pan out.
5. Motivationally, I will write a list of all the things that I want to achieve on this journey... the laundry list of all the benefits and reasons I started in the first place. It will be good to get it all down, to be able to use it to keep focused.
That's the plan for this week.... I'll post again next week to let you all know how I've done!
So I've decided to go back to basics this week, treating it as though it's my first week on plan. I've got some good food options in the house, including lots of fresh fruit and veggies. I have a healthy dinner already planned and ready to go for tomorrow. And while I'd like to get back to setting some more aggressive goals, I figured this week it would be good to start with some baby steps...things that are important for success, but not very difficult to achieve with a little work. Here goes:
1. Tracking EVERYTHING this week. My tracking has fallen seriously by the wayside, so I have a nice new notebook and a pen I really like all set out and ready to go.
2. WATER WATER WATER. I drink water pretty exclusively, so choosing it is a no-brainer. But making sure I'm getting enough is important. I have a WW insulated cup that holds 32 oz at a time. I must drink at least 2 of those cups full per day.
3. At least 5 servings of fruits and veggies per day. Going back through my materials so that I can accurately track portion sizes.
4. Activity - this goal is all about starting small. It's activity 4 times this week, for a minimum of 30 minutes per day. Hoping that most of it will be bike-related, since it's good cardio, and easier on my hurting feet. Tendinitis in on foot and a heel spur in the other have led to some challenges, so I think that biking is my best solution this week. I do have a couple of other options in my head though, in case that doesn't pan out.
5. Motivationally, I will write a list of all the things that I want to achieve on this journey... the laundry list of all the benefits and reasons I started in the first place. It will be good to get it all down, to be able to use it to keep focused.
That's the plan for this week.... I'll post again next week to let you all know how I've done!
Monday, April 9, 2012
The Power of Fresh Groceries
Last week I didn't do any grocery shopping - we just lived on what we had in the house plus we ate dinner out most nights. This was mostly due to the punishing amount of yard work I had to do, and the resulting pain and stiffness. Well, the yard looks great, and I was able to accomplish more than I had originally thought, so that was a win. But I knew that I needed to shop ASAP.
So I spent some time over the weekend planning meals, organizing coupons and making lists. And today my husband was nice enough to accompany me to both BJs and Shoprite on his day off. There was a LOT of shopping to be done at both stores, and it took quite a bit of time to get it all done.
But I love the possibilities of a freshly stocked kitchen. Knowing that I have tons of fresh fruit and veggies, smart dairy choices, healthy meal ingredients, and even some WW-smart treats leaves me with renewed enthusiasm. I know that although I have a very busy week planned (lots of last minute cleaning and organizing in anticipation of some guests staying with us), I know that I can just pop open the fridge, cabinets or pantry and have lots of healthy options, and a wide variety of choices at my fingertips.
I really think that sometimes when I'm struggling, the best thing I can do is stock up on great groceries... it's like an instant mood lift!
So I spent some time over the weekend planning meals, organizing coupons and making lists. And today my husband was nice enough to accompany me to both BJs and Shoprite on his day off. There was a LOT of shopping to be done at both stores, and it took quite a bit of time to get it all done.
But I love the possibilities of a freshly stocked kitchen. Knowing that I have tons of fresh fruit and veggies, smart dairy choices, healthy meal ingredients, and even some WW-smart treats leaves me with renewed enthusiasm. I know that although I have a very busy week planned (lots of last minute cleaning and organizing in anticipation of some guests staying with us), I know that I can just pop open the fridge, cabinets or pantry and have lots of healthy options, and a wide variety of choices at my fingertips.
I really think that sometimes when I'm struggling, the best thing I can do is stock up on great groceries... it's like an instant mood lift!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The Mulch Queen Cometh!
Hello friends and reader(s)! I've been keeping my head down these last couple of days taking care of business. My current project has been outdoor spring cleanup. The weather is perfect right now, so I've been taking advantage of it. Spending the last couple of days re-mulching the landscaping in front of my house. Hauling bags all over the place, spreading the stuff out, pulling weeds, spraying weed killer, pulling up old dead plantings. I am sore, I can tell you that much. So I'm rewarding myself with some night-time internet fun time, while I wait for the anti-inflammatory to kick in so I can go to bed.
My eating has been a little off the reservation this week, but not too bad. I'm certainly racking up activity points that will help counterbalance. Tomorrow should be the last of the mulch party, part 1. There's more to do on the side of the house and in the back yard, but I may let Dave handle those over the weekend. Although I really love the sense of accomplishment when I look out there and see the evidence of all my hard work. And since we had the landscape plants fixed up last fall, it's really looking spiffy with the fresh mulch bed!
I always prefer my activity in the form of activity, rather than exercise. I do realize the benefits of structured exercise - particularly weight training. But my money's always on just being active in some way. Bike riding, tossing a frisbee or baseball, hiking, yard work - those are my activities of choice!
So I'm feeling pretty positive about having stayed disciplined and doing the work I need to do, and saving most of my online time for later. Starting to feel like things are coming back under my control - spring cleaning is good for that. Making plans and following them has been very good for my state of mind... clutter and chaos beware! The Queen of Mulch is coming for you!
My eating has been a little off the reservation this week, but not too bad. I'm certainly racking up activity points that will help counterbalance. Tomorrow should be the last of the mulch party, part 1. There's more to do on the side of the house and in the back yard, but I may let Dave handle those over the weekend. Although I really love the sense of accomplishment when I look out there and see the evidence of all my hard work. And since we had the landscape plants fixed up last fall, it's really looking spiffy with the fresh mulch bed!
I always prefer my activity in the form of activity, rather than exercise. I do realize the benefits of structured exercise - particularly weight training. But my money's always on just being active in some way. Bike riding, tossing a frisbee or baseball, hiking, yard work - those are my activities of choice!
So I'm feeling pretty positive about having stayed disciplined and doing the work I need to do, and saving most of my online time for later. Starting to feel like things are coming back under my control - spring cleaning is good for that. Making plans and following them has been very good for my state of mind... clutter and chaos beware! The Queen of Mulch is coming for you!
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