Dreaming of Running

  There are a lot of activities that I'm interested in pursuing, now that I'm getting healthier and stronger.  Bike riding, playing tennis and kayaking (or actually, learning how to kayak) are at the top of the list.  And although I know several runners, all of whom are intensely passionate about it, I don't find it all that appealing.  Don't get me wrong, I can definitely see myself doing a 5 or 10k at some point, once I can, just because I can.  And maybe occasionally afterward for charity.  But as a regular activity?  I don't see it.  Of course, you never know.  That's what my husband once said, and now he's a running maniac!

   But lately I've been dreaming about running.  Not the sad little half walk-half shuffle thing I can do for VERY short bursts right now.  Actual, long stride, high knee athletic running.  In the dreams it's always accompanied by a feeling of "Hey, look what I can do!", and a feeling that's a cross between bouncing and flying.  I don't know what it feels like in real life, but if it's anything like it is in my dreams, I can see why people get hooked.
  
   These dreams are relatively new, but they come fairly often.  And like all good dreams, all real-life limitations have vanished.  My legs don't feel like lead, my knees and back don't hurt, and I have boundless energy.  This past year has been pretty interesting and exciting, as my energy increases and I'm able to do more things for longer periods of time.  The marathon sessions of yard work over the last few days (yes it's finally finished!) wouldn't have been possible just 2 years ago.  And even last year, it would have taken me longer to finish and would have required more recovery time.

   So for now, I'll still try to sometimes squeeze in a little of that shuffle-walk thing when I'm out in the park, knowing that as more time passes, my dreams of running get closer to reality.

The Day Ahead

I woke up earlier than expected/planned/wanted today to the sound of my beloved Seymour throwing up all over the bed.  Which meant hauling myself up to strip the bed and get the laundry going at an ungodly hour.  But now that I'm up, and have so much extra time today, I'm in a quandary as to how best to use it.  My brain immediately went into overhaul, thinking of all the possibilities.  Which of course, total WAY more than can be reasonably done in a day.  I feel kind of obligated to continue working outside today since it's not raining, and the rain this spring has put me further behind than I'd like to be.  But I don't really want to, and I'm not good with obligation.

So now it's time to slow down and take a breath.  Have a little breakfast and make a reasonable plan for the next few days.  This will include an obligatory check of the Weather Channel so I can plan the few remaining outside chores (they are few, but sizeable). It will also include a draft To-Do... one that I can use as a brain dump to put down all the things that I want on the list.  Then I can go through it and prioritize, figuring out the best way to use my time, and mercilessly eliminating those things that are nice-to-have's but not really that important for the next few days.

Taking a breath is important.  It's the only way to get the hamster off the wheel sometimes.  And feeling in control of tasks will help me stay in control of my choices.  So now it's off to work!

Brain Freeze

   So I've been sitting here staring at the screen off and on for a few days, really wanting to write something, but not being able to figure out what I wanted to say.  There were lots of little things running through my mind, but nothing that seemed substantial enough to build an entire post about.  My thoughts seem very scattered and un-focused these past few days.  Luckily, my inability to concentrate on a coherent blog topic hasn't been coupled with an inability to concentrate on other things.  My plan-related focus is clear, and my motivation is good.  I've been experiencing an upswing in energy lately, probably brought on by the nicer weather, and by one of those laws of physics:  A body in motion tends to stay in motion.  Once I get myself up and moving and knocking chores of the ever-present To Do list, it feels like it has a snowball effect, and I keep on going.

   I've also decided to try and open myself up to a few new experiences.  The other day I decided to sign up for  Tai Chi class at the Y - I'm not normally much of a joiner, but I figured, why not?  I looked up and decided to try some kettlebell exercises to also help mix things up a little.  And last week when I was getting my hair cut, I decided that at my next appointment I would try out the "express facial" service they have that they do while your color processes.  I've always shied away from beauty or spa-like treatments, figuring they were for other people.  Who, exactly, I don't know, but definitely not for me.  But hey - why not?    And yesterday I went to Dick's to purchase some ankle weights (to help with my at-home PT exercises) and wandered over to the outdoor section and took a look at kayaks.  I've always wanted to try kayaking, but figured I was too heavy, and my mobility too limited to allow me to get in and out of the thing.  But looking at them yesterday I realized that I'm moving toward this idea of allowing myself to consider it as an activity, instead of just always assuming I can't.

   I like this idea of saying "yes", and allowing myself to consider new possibilities and experiences.  It sure beats the way I was living before, when new things seemed out of reach and scary.  I've always liked having options.  And being able to move away from the feeling of being eternally limited in my life has been energizing. 

   Spending time these last few days really thinking about these kinds of things is probably why I haven't been able to focus much on a single topic up until now.  Then I realized that this was my topic, and finally got out of my  own way!  Now it's time to get outside and enjoy the sunshine!

Thinking About Food

  At my Weight Watchers meeting this week we had a very spirited debate about how much we all think about food.  It started when a woman said she felt frustrated with the fact that she feels like she thinks about food constantly now that she's on WW in a way that she never did before.  And I agreed with her because I often feel that way, although less so as I spend more time on the plan.
  So I gave it some more thought and realized that while I do think about food more often than I used to - it sometimes feels like it's all I ever think about - I don't think about it in the same way as before.  Before my commitment to this new way of living, I thought about eating all the time.  But the choices I made were pretty mindless beyond the thought of "hhhmmmmm...what am I in the mood for today?".  Now I am more mindful of the food-related decisions I make, from recipe research to menu planning, grocery shopping and finally, eating.  Yes, I give food much more of my mental time and energy than I ever did before.  But I think it's a good thing.  And once I realized that, I stopped feeling frustrated with how often I think about food.

The Great San Francisco Countdown Begins

   Okay, so....  I'm getting on a plane in 9 1/2 weeks (hey wasn't that a semi-dirty movie back in the day?) to go visit my niece in San Francisco. This will be the first time I've flown in over 8 years, and I'm a bit nervous about it.  While I'm definitely at a lower weight than I've been on any previous flight (with the exception of my honeymoon, when I was probably 25-30 lbs lighter), it's still a little nerve wracking.  My weight distribution is different than it once was, and I carry a lot in my lower belly (or the "apron" as I've seen it called") which hasn't shrunk in proportion with the rest of me.  Although it's quite a bit smaller than it used to be, so yay me!  My wish is to not need an extender, but I've used them before, so it's not a big deal.
  I would love to hit the 100 lb lost mark by the time I leave.  That would require me to lose 15.2 lbs in a little over 9 weeks.    Based on my weight loss history, that's a pretty aggressive goal - just over a pound and a half per week.  So while I'm writing this, I'm also devising a strategy in my head that I'll be committing to paper a little later on to help me reach this goal.  I'm including all the all-star elements of successful weight loss - menu planning, activity, lots of water and tracking!  I'll also be using this blog and my FB page to keep communicating, since I think it's going to be key in my adherence to the battle plan!
More to come!

Yay I made a blog!

Okay, since this is the first post it's gonna be a little rough!  This is mostly me working out how best to deliver this blog and post it to my Facebook page.    I'm stealing this idea from my friend Maureen, since I think that blogging will give me a better forum for some of the discussions I want to have.  Lord knows I'm way more talkative than a Facebook wall post will allow, and it's too hard for people to find things in the Notes section.
This blog is intended to supplement the Woobie Losing Weight Facebook page, and I'm really looking forward to sharing in more detail some of the victories and challenges I face as I continue on my weight loss journey!  Look for more (and better/prettier) posts in the near future!