So as I mentioned in my last post, I am in the middle of planning my epic 25th anniversary vacation for next May. As of now, all the hotels are booked, and all that's left is the flights and rental car, which I can't book yet - I guess it's too far in advance. The first leg of the trip involves spending a few days visiting my niece in San Francisco. The last time I was there was about 5 ears ago, when I went out there with my sister for my niece's grad school graduation.
As I ALSO mentioned in my last post, I have gained back most of the weight I had lost. And I think about how I felt the last time I was in San Francisco. I was still very overweight, but was able to do much more than I had thought I would be able to do, and didn't have the problem of long recovery time after lots of activity. It's very important to me that I get in the best shape possible before this trip next year, because I want to be able to be active and enjoy all the great places we are planning to see.
I struggle sometimes when I think of how far I had come then, and how much of a failure I feel like for being back in this position AGAIN. But I know that nothing positive comes from that kind of thinking - it just brings up negative feelings and lots of self-recrimination. And it casts a very long and dark shadow that can last days or even weeks, and can trigger bad eating choices.
Learning from the past is important - there is much good that I can focus on and try to replicate about my eating and activity choices from that time. And this can help me be successful in the present. But it isn't healthy to dwell on the differences in my weight and abilities between then and now - that way lies madness! So I'm working on finding the balance between learning from and dwelling on the past. Definitely a work in progress!
You got this. You know you can.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Carol!
DeleteYou are an intelligent,awesome person. I watch my 600lb life on tv. I feel
ReplyDeletefor those people. Every inch they move their poor body can't handle the
pain. Most of them have given up life. YOU HAVE NOT GIVEN UP MY DEAR! I remember when you first came to WW. You may have gained
some weight back but you still look like you have kept weight off. You
walk much faster. Kim you may like doing some of those chair dances I
do. They even have chair boxing. The best prices on Ebay buy they are
also on Amazon. Jodi Stovlove has a chair dancing site also. Her dvds
are the best. She has one that is called Life is a Celebration or Celebrate,
something like that. You actually do surfing in the chair. Going to the doc's to find out about knee replacement tomorrow. Trying to keep losing weight
so the recovery from that won't be so bad. I've been using the self talk lately.
Trying always to tell myself do you want better health or more food. The
health talk usually works but not always, Losing weight is a struggle for most people. I think want I have learned at WW amounts to a pot of gold!
I recently started doing the Jodi Stovlove DVDs...I like being able to be active for 45 minutes at a time without having knee pain...I work hard to keep my heart rate up so I get the max benefit. I am going to look on you tube for some more options. And thank you!
DeleteI typed a big reply yesterday, but guess I never hit the "publish" button. Ha ha! Well, anyway, I do look back at times. Remember when I started this journey, I lost 50 pounds and then gained a good part of that back before I started losing again. I look back to see how I handled a situations then versus now. Why did that happen? What was I struggling with at the time? How come I was able to pass on the bakery birthday cake and ice cream at that party, but yet this time around, I couldn't resist the store-bought birthday cake? How can I handle it next time?
ReplyDeleteWe have to look back at things that can give us a positive result. Dwelling on the fact that we're not where we once were doesn't give us any positive results.
We've all been there. The important point is that you're still here working it out, fighting to get where you want to be. Look back on what worked for you then and what didn't, what particular struggles did you have and how you might be able to deal with them now and in the future.
Love you, Woobie. You are a strong woman and are willing to fight for what you want. You have proven that already and will continue to prove it every day!
Thanks, Maureen.... Love you too!
Delete