Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Meeting Shopping Once Again

   There's a new leader at the location I go to.  He's VERY new (only just past the maintenance stage himself), and very nice and enthusiastic.  His leader skills need a little work, but generally he's ok.  Here's the problem... he goes around to each member to ask them how they did at the scale - specifically how much weight they gained or lost.  And if you try to defer and just give a general statement, he really pushes the point.  And if you come in late, he will still make sure that he calls you out, even if he's in the middle of something else.  
   The two problems I have are this:  I don't always want to participate.  Even when I have a successful week at the scale, sometimes I just feel quiet.  I recognize that WW is best when people participate, gaining encouragement and a sense of community.  And sometimes I do like to participate, regardless of what the scale says.  But I feel like it should be my choice, and that if I try to politely decline giving a specific answer, then he should take the hint and move on.  There are lots of things I can contribute about how my week went, if everyone sharing their experience is his focus.  But that doesn't seem good enough - he really get relentless about the specific number on the scale.  
   The other issue is that it makes the meeting take WAY too long.  Sometimes he isn't done getting to everyone before it's time for the meeting to end, and then he still wants to talk about the week's topic.  It gets rushed, or sometimes brushed aside altogether.  And that's been in these last two months, when attendance is at its lowest.  I can't imagine how long it will take now that January is here, and the meetings get really busy.
   I plan on talking to him privately at weigh - in this week coming up, to see if we can come to some agreement about this issue.  One of the things I like about WW is that it is participatory, but I have always prized the notion that participation is voluntary.  I hate having to shop around for a different meeting, since I really like the group.  But the down side ends up being that I really don't want to stay for the meeting, especially if my weekly result isn't great.  And the meeting is important.  Hopefully there's a way to work this out!


  1. :( Oh, my gosh, that would make me CRAZY!!!! I remember "another leader" telling us how her leader did this when she was losing her weight and she hated it as well.

    Good for you for making a plan to talk to him about it. It would be a shame for you to have to change your meeting since you like the group so much. That sounds so familiar to me. :)

    I am very comfortable with the meeting I am going to, the group, and I love the leader. It's key. You have to find what's going to work for you.

    I'll try to call you later today or tomorrow. We must make plans for coffee!

    Happy New Year, Babe!

    1. Absolutely - it's been WAY too long since we've seen each other. Are you still going to Cinnaminson on Saturday? We may end up back there if we can't find a resolution, or a closer Saturday alternative!

  2. You know my feelings on the subject!!